21 Rules for a Better Life
Recently I turned 21 and was inspired by struthless who himself was inspired by Kevin Kelly. Both of these guys gave out personal advice that they believe would allow the viewer to lead a better life. The number of advice matched their age, 32 for the struthless and 68 for Mr.Kelly. And so here I am with 21 personal rules based on my own experiences that I believe will help you lead a happier life.
1. Talk first
If you are ever in a room and you feel silent and awkward. Trust me everyone else does. An easy way to make new friends and a create more relaxed atmosphere is just - talking first.
2. Learn how to bake
If cooking feels too intimidating then learn how to bake. You learn a skill and can impress your friends and families at functions by offering to bring something. And plus..... I have yet to meet a soul that didn't like brownies.
3. Buy a fountain pen
It makes writing fun.
4. Don't be afraid to ditch the scale
Often when we try to become healthier individuals, we can fixate only on our weight and become obsessed with the scale. If you feel that overly-checking the scale is causing you to eat only for a number and not for a healthier lifestyle. Don't be afraid to heavily reduce it and even just chucking it.
5. Set random alarms to reach out to your friends
Few things feel better than someone reaching out completely out of the blue and asking how you are. It makes the other person feel appreciated, loved, and valued.
6. Go to museums more
Looking at art can be instructive, calming, and even inspiring. If you are a creative of any kind, visiting a museum ought to be mandatory.
7. Ask them out and if they say no do not comfort your pain through anger.
If you are attracted to someone for the right reasons and want to get to know them better. Then make your emotions clear, your request blunt, and ask them.
However, if you are rejected do not soothe your pain by becoming angry toward the other individual.
Number 1, it is weird and wack. No one is entitled to be with anyone and your mental soap opera where you ride off into the sunset on the back of a cow does not constitute reality.
Number 2, don't make another individual the basis for your " redemption arc" or your " self-improvement moment". You should seek to better yourself for precisely only yourself. This individual will have forgotten you the next day ( which is a good thing if your insecurity makes you believe that they are mocking you behind your back) it makes no sense to spend months and for some- years, working on yourself to get back at someone who doesn't even remember you.
Number 3, comforting yourself through anger makes you bitter and makes those around you your enemy. And as Mark Twain said, " Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."
8. Try to hike with your friends
It will give you guys a common challenge and goal. Plenty of time to talk. Opportunities to help and support one another. And a unified sense of accomplishment at the end.
9. Read Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals
This book is a gem and allowed me to become a much more productive and generally happier individual who stopped stressing out so much over my future trajectory and workload.
10. Learn your family history
Learning about your ancestors is a small way to retain history that might go back generations. Understanding the past can give you a wider perspective on your life path when you consider all the events that have led to you being where you are.
11. Draw on the wall
It makes your space, your space. Seeing some small doodles or little messages can serve as small time capsules bringing you back to an earlier time.
12. Try not to curse
Using foul language reduces your vocabulary. Everything can in fact be reduced to the f*ck,sh*t, and a variety of niceties. Reducing your cursing to a 7,5,3 times a day limit is a fun challenge to see just how much you curse.
And as the Bible says in Ephesians 4:29
" Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion that it may give grace to those who hear".
13. Be able to run a mile
You never know when the wildebeest might come.
14. Don't give old friends a pass for old bad behavior
If you have known someone for quite a long time and they have repeated behavior that you don't like, please tell them. Accepting someone's bad actions because you have known them for a long time prevents you from growing. Having difficult conversations where you discuss that behavior will only serve to strengthen your relationship and if the person refuses to change that is actually good because you don't deserve someone like that in your life.
15. Moving is not (always) the answer
If you are having problems dealing with a certain person or multiple people in a particular location. The idea of leaving that space whether it be a house, dorm, or job can be very attractive. However, often the issues that cause us to feel like we are constantly in conflict can be due to an issue with boundaries. Choosing to stay where you are and establishing strong boundaries and sticking by them will stop the problem permanently wherever you are while moving will only provide a new opportunity for the problem to reintroduce itself.
16. Lose weight sustainably
Think about your mental calendar for when you want to look your best. Now add 6 months and you're good. Losing weight and being healthy is a journey, a long one.
17. If you have to minimize yourself in a relationship, that is a good sign to leave
You are in fact person who deserves just as much attention, care, and respect as they do.
18. Prayer feels good
The combo of " Me being stressed + Praying about it = feeling much better" is undefeated in all my years alive.
19. Allow yourself to be complimented
You are exactly all the compliments that you receive, learn to accept that.
20. Pick a random country and try some of its cuisines
I did this and got the country of Georgia and I got to eat "khachapuri". It is AMAZING.
21. Don't ask a Haitian if they " speak Haitian?"
Say " Haitian creole" or just "creole."
- A Haitian
